People disappoint us don’t they? They let us down. Sometimes when we need them most. And we get hurt, angry, upset and offended. Hand on heart now… we disappoint people too. We let them down when they need us and they too feel hurt and angry.
What we don’t realise however is the reality that we are all awesome but broken human beings trying our best to live life from our point of view and level of depth, knowledge, understanding and experience. We also forget that life is a journey of growth… what are we invited to reflect upon today?
Life Lesson 2 – Perspectives on People
Imagine that you want to teach a three-year-old algebra. Algebra is a good thing, however, it is highly unlikely that a three-year-old is cognitively able to understand it (unless she’s a Mensa candidate, but you get my point!) She may perhaps understand it when she is ten, but no matter how hard you try and no matter how good your intentions are – she cannot understand you, simply because the time has not yet come for her to understand algebra. She needs to learn and understand a plethora of other mathematical concepts beforehand.
Similarly, we are like this three-year-old; yes all of us. We are told things, we read things and sometimes even experience them; but we do not understand or accept them because the time has not yet come. Life has a funny way of repeating situations until WE LEARN the life lesson we need for our journey. Once we learn the lesson, the obstacles will disappear and we move on to the next lesson.
Please allow me to be bold and say that I am quite certain of this. I can even prove it to you :) Stop and think, about you or someone you know for a moment. How many times did you hear or say something like these - “it keeps happening to me”, “my friends always….”, “all my boyfriends/girlfriends are….”, “whatever I do, I always….”
Now please realise (as I did) that the only thing in common is always You (or the person in question). A friend once told me that he had the greatest misfortune that all his girlfriends turned out to be possessive! I humbly asked him what the common denominator was in all the relationships and it was then that he realized that it was he who was repeatedly doing something to make them react that way. This happens to all of us… We keep getting more of the same until WE LEARN the lesson and choose to change and grow!
The moral? “Awareness”. Be aware of things that keep repeating in your life. See the obstacles and understand what you are meant to learn to become a better person.
Another life changing moment was when I truly understood the meaning of an expression we have in my native language, which roughly translated amounts to ‘people can only give you from what they themselves have’. Let me illustrate this philosophical thought simply. Imagine that your friend has a basket full of juicy red apples. You ask her for an apple and she gladly gives you one. The next day however, she runs out of apples and has nothing to offer you. Clearly, this person cannot give you an apple because she does not have any.
The same goes with all of us. We can only give to others that which is inside ourselves and we can only receive from a person that which he is able to give. Many times we get disappointed and hurt because we expect from others that which we are willing to give, or that which they have given us in the past… When most of the times, the truth is simply that one’s basket (emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, financially or physically) is empty; thus we, or that person has nothing to give.
What I’m trying to say here is “compassion” for each other and for ourselves. Allow others and yourself time to replenish the basket without being so hasty to judge or dismiss.
My hopes for you are that this awareness will bring positive changes in your relationships! Until next time, “Peace out awesome soul!”
Blessings from Ella