Hello awesome souls, I hope you are well :) Recently someone told me that she can't wait to 'settle down'. ‘Settle down’... The two words bring shivers down my spine. Here's a different perspective, see what you think ;)
Life Lesson 15 - Don't 'Settle Down'
Merriam-Webster online dictionary has four variants for ‘settling down’:
- to become quiet, calm, or orderly
- to begin to live a quiet and steady life by getting a regular job, getting married, etc.
- to put oneself into a comfortable position
- to become quiet and begin giving one's attention to something
Please don’t get me wrong, parts of those definitions are commendable…however, it is the ‘other parts’ that refer to a ‘settling down’ mindset that get to me. Words like ‘quiet, orderly, steady, regular and comfortable’, yes they get to me. Why?
Because when ‘settling down’ becomes the unquestioned status quo, the erroneous beliefs of a culture are perpetuated; a society that venerates being settled. You know the mindset, get to an age (fill in accordingly), study, get a job, get a place, get married, have kids, go to work until you retire, maybe a holiday every year, change cars every few years, grow old, degenerate and die. This is pretty much it – settling down… you know, orderly, steady, quiet, regular, comfortable zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, can you feel a pulse?
Because… come on let’s face it, no awesome, revolutionary, life-changing, mind-altering, noble, honourable, earth-shattering, unforgettable experience, invention, event or discovery has ever ever happened by ‘settling down’. To me, settling down implies lukewarm, normal, common, regular, in the comfort zone, mediocre, mundane… Perhaps I sound extreme, but please allow me to invite you to consider seeing life from a different perspective before you ‘settle down’ ;) Here are some fine examples of what NOT settling down looks like:
Unlimited Youth - Sr Madonna Buder (1.03 min)
Be the Fiercest - Deshun Wang (1.49 min)
Never, ever give up - Arthur Boorman (4.45 min)
Not settling down. The way I see it is like this – there is no one in the world like you. You are unique, you were created for purpose and you have a contribution to make to humanity by being you, by using your dreams, goals and talents. Can you fathom just how precious you are? No one can fulfill or do or be what you were created for. This is why you simply cannot settle down. You cannot accept mediocre when you deserve better. Live life to the max – honourably, responsibly, with integrity and passion and a burning desire to overcome ‘regular’ and be ‘exceptional’… because this is what you truly are; you’ve just accepted the stereotypes that’s why you cannot see your awesomeness.
I’m not suggesting that we all become famous athletes or inventors, I’m simply trying to ignite your fire for whatever it is that lies within you to live to your full potential – to Carpe Diem, seize the day! Here are two ways of not settling down:
1. ‘Ignore Stereotypes and do your thing’
So what is it? What is your dream? Don’t let anyone (including yourself) dissuade you that you are too old, too young, too tall, too short or not ‘bla bla bla’ enough. Look at inspirational people from all over the world, those who did not accept settling down and kept on persevering… They are mere mortals just like you and me. If we want to, we can choose to be transformed and to transform, just by being authentically us and by doing the thing that only we can do. So you want to go back to university at 65 – do it :D Do you want to write a book, skydive, run a marathon, become a missionary, change your career, buy a pink Porsche, dance in the rain, volunteer in hospital, set up an ngo, bake your first cake, paint a mural? Whatever it is, big or small, if it is your ‘calling’, if it will transform you, if you feel it within that this is what you were born to do, please do it. The world, and we your sisters and brothers need you :)
That is why I don’t believe in competition – because I believe that we all have a place, that we all have something unique to contribute and that no one can do your thing but you. Here I quote Mother Theresa, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” In truth, the ‘size’ of the contribution, the dream, the goal, the achievement doesn’t matter – it is the quality, the fulfilment, the joie de vivre it gives you and others that counts.
2. ‘Every day and every moment is special’ Mindset
Please savour the moment. Savour the people. Savour the things. Appreciate everything and live every moment with gratitude. Be with those you love. Here I make a bold suggestion – drink that champagne you’ve been saving, wear that beautiful dress because you feel like it, go and get your hair done for no occasion, cook a 3 course dinner on a Monday, dance in a supermarket aisle with your child, start a blog, buy the red sofa not the ‘sensible’ brown one, learn Chinese, donate to a new charity, use your crystal glasses, take a day off just to read that book, eat that donut, buy flowers for your mum, walk in and donate blood… whatever tickles your heart, just BE ALIVE :)
Until next time xx
Blessings from Ella