I was at the airport the other day, inevitably watching people scurrying around with their baggage in tow. It’s awesome how at some point in life you realise, that if you have heightened awareness, every moment can become your teacher.
Life Lesson 10 – You’ve got baggage… and so does everyone else
I want to share this powerful visualization with you because I sincerely think that it can help transform all your relationships for the better. Sit down for a moment and create this image in your mind. Visualise it in as much detail as possible.
Imagine that you are in a big empty room. Now visualise the people who are important to you or have significance in your life (partner, family members, friends, colleagues… even your ex, that friend you argued with and people have fallen out with) Bring them into the room. Now as they stand there in front of you, imagine that they are all carrying baggage, all of them… oh and of course include your baggage in the scene. How much baggage does your partner have? What is your neighbour carrying? How many bags does your ex have? What luggage is your co-worker towing around? Please visualise this in as much detail as possible, colour, size, quantity of baggage.
The baggage contains the person’s Life History and Experiences.
Imagine that… inside that baggage, each person is carrying his/her childhood, culture, hurts, traumas, illnesses, suffering, pain, fears, hopes, dreams and outlook on life. Of course, the baggage is ‘invisible’ and no one can see it or know how much it weighs, how heavy it is to lug around all the time, except for the person carrying it.
So next time you meet someone, see someone or think about someone, visualise the baggage that that person is carrying. That woman who sends her child late to school and without homework… could be a silent victim of domestic violence. That co-worker who never comes to the pub after work… might be a recovering alcoholic. Your spouse who shuts you out emotionally… might be a victim of child abuse. Your friend who has not contacted you in ages… might be diagnosed with an illness. That person who has gained 30 kilos… might be suffering from depression… Your child who is suddenly writing carelessly… might be bullied at school. How about the one who never answers emails, messages or phone calls… perhaps he is battling an addiction, has lost his wife or is feeling suicidal.
My point is, you never know what baggage a person is carrying. And others do not know what you are carrying either. So if you don’t want others to judge you because they cannot see the baggage you are carrying, then you do the same ;) Try this today and see how it goes:
See the Baggage Exercise
Today, with everyone you meet, practice seeing their baggage. As you interact with them, visualise what they are carrying. When we do this, we become more compassionate and less judgemental. We do not gossip or come to conclusions or invent stories in our mind. We do not become offended at that person’s actions toward us… When we see the baggage, we empathise. It becomes easier to love and easier to forgive.
This will also do wonderful things to your relationships! If we are aware of the baggage, we can ask the person to share the load. We can talk about the contents of our baggage. We can even unpack together, discard items which are no longer useful and repack a lighter load for the rest of the journey. Goodness! There is so much we can do to nurture our relationships if only we could take the time to see the baggage instead of being so hasty to shut a person out or load him with more baggage due to our harsh judgement.
PS - Everyone comes with baggage. If we are under the illusion that we can find a partner or friend baggage-free, we will end up running away all our lives. You see, the first step is seeing your baggage, then acknowledging it... then seeing and acknowledging it in others. And only then can we start with the unpacking ;)
And one final note my dear friends :) if your baggage is becoming too heavy to bear, please seek help. Please take care of yourself.
Blessings from Ella