The world has conned us into believing that pain is unnecessary and should be avoided at all costs. And we indeed do anything and everything to avoid it, suppress it and run away from it. This faulty thinking has inevitably caused us even more pain and suffering which is prolonged and more severe. Please do not shoot the messenger, but I would like to share a truth with you which at first you may not like. But if you read on and embrace this new perspective, you may come to the realisation, like I did, that pain after all is not the enemy… denial is, escapism is… anything that we choose instead of meeting with pain head on; these are our real enemies.
Life Lesson17 – Pain is not your Enemy
Pain is necessary… physical and emotional pain are there as indicators that something ‘is not okay’ with us. Biologically, if we do not feel pain, if we do not have the ability to feel pain; the hot stove, the ache and strain and sprain, then we’d keep going… and we’d be dead. The same applies to us regarding emotional suffering of all kinds – if we do not feel the pain, we would not know which areas within ourselves and in relation to others and life need ‘fixing’. Pain manifests itself to pinpoint the place where the core of our suffering is, so that we can deal with it.
But it takes GUTS to feel the pain and stay with it long enough to heal all that it is trying to tell you. Many of us don’t. The moment we feel pain of any sort, we rush around panicked desperately trying to drown it out, deny its existence or solve it as quickly as possible. We want quick fixes. We want magic and instant gratification.
And what is the result? We do not develop effective coping strategies, we do not develop resilience, we do not become strong in character… we use quick fixes in vain. But quick fixes do not heal pain, quick fixes put us in a state of denial until the problem is compounded and comes back to bite us in the rear end.
What am I proposing to you today my soul friend? :) I am proposing a change in perspective. Please entertain this new thought, see how it feels to say: Pain is not my enemy. Pain is my teacher, my wake-up call nudging me ‘Huston we have a problem!’ and therefore it is a blessing in disguise. Physical pain requires going to a physician; but my focus here is on emotional pain. Here are some reflections to consider:
Think about that pain in your life for a moment. You know the one, I know the one… place it in front of you and sit with it for a while. I know, it is causing you so much suffering. You can’t stand it and you want to run away and drown it out… please don’t. Perhaps it’s about a person, or a relationship, or about life circumstances, or about some aspect of yourself. Whatever your pain is, I invite you for once to stay with it. Don’t ignore it, supress it, drink it, drug it, or alienate it away by doing something to ‘make it go disappear as quickly as possible’. Now acknowledge that this pain is trying to tell you something – something in that area of your life is not going well. Please accept this new awareness as a blessing; that pain is guiding you to the exact place where you need healing. When something unconscious is made conscious for us, it indicates that we are ready to begin the healing process.
This awareness, if you harness it, will put you in a position of power. When you stay with the pain, acknowledge it and accept it, you are no longer a victim, you are now the leader within your own life. You can now do something about it. If you feel that you cannot face it alone, seek the help of a counsellor or another mental health professional. The key is to face the pain, to uncover what it is trying to tell you, to discover where the problem lies and to take action toward solving it, managing it, coping with it and/or changing your perceptions about it.
In doing so, we can heal, change and grow. We can develop effective life skills to face future challenges. We gain positive coping strategies, we become resilient, strong in character and renewed.
I hope that this post can encourage you to face your pain and move toward healing. Until next time, peace out precious one, you've got this.
Blessings from Ella